Going to Church with Alex

Let me start by saying I do believe in God. there has to be something bigger than us out there. When I was a kid and growing up, we went to church off and on. When I became of the age where i could make my own decision, I tried many different churches and religions. I came to the conclusion that organised religion just wasn't for me. I couldn't find a church that I felt really comfortable in and didn't make me feel guilty for what ever reason.

So then i had children. I allowed them to do the same thing my mom allowed me to do. I would try to talk to them about believing in God, but since i didn't attend church, it fell on deaf ears. I hold the blame for that, but with no guilt. At times, Alex was going to a church summer program in the neighborhood with one of his friends. I thought that was good, he had a chance to learn something I couldn't teach him. then the summer was over, and so was the program. Alex decided in time that he was an atheist. This broke my heart,  but what could I do.

Fast forward to today in time. When Alex joined the Air Force, i figured there would be changes in him. I heard them every time he called home or when i got a letter from him. In one of his letters he told us he was going to church and really liked it. He still wasn't all religious, but he liked to go because it was something to do on Sunday and get away from the TI's.

When we were making plans to go out there, we discussed what we could do when he has time off base and we looked forward to it. The only thing he asked us to do with him while on base was go to church with him on sunday. He asked us more than once if we were going to go. I said yes, we would go if he wanted us to. I think he was more worried about John going. John was raised catholic and was forced to do all the catholic stuff they are asked to do. Needless to say, he wont go back unless forced.

So we got to the base on Sunday and occupied our time doing stuff until 1:00 when Alex  goes to church with his friends. So we walk in and sat at the back, which was reserved for the graduates and their families. Alex had told us what was going to happen. he told us people really got into it and sang and cried. they handed out tissue to the families and airmen and trainees. I thought I was prepared, until we actually got in there and sat down.

On the front two walls of the huge church, was two screens showing the videos from songs written for soldiers. I was taking it all in, so I cant remember the names of the songs, but one song in particular, Letters from War, I remember. Alex had told me about this song. Most of the songs were country, So this was the part that really got me. As these songs played, the airmen stood, wrapped their arms around each others shoulders and sang along with the tune. the entire church was doing the same thing. then they played religious songs, and the same thing happened. When they prayed, they all stood and prayed together. I was crying off and on.

It really was a very enlightening experience. When we left, after the sermon, Alex asked if we enjoyed it. I told him I loved it. I was just sad i left my camera in the car. I would have loved to have had a picture or two of the brotherhood and faith in each other i saw in there. When i told Alex you have to believe there is something bigger than yourself, he agreed. the sermon was so that the airmen could relate to it, and it was able to draw them in and give them comfort. yes, I loved going to church with Alex. i would do it again if he asked me. I just hope he continues to go and gets some kind of strength from it.

One can hope. and that was our church experience that was so wonderful for me.