Sad Good by's

This morning i got off work at 8 am, on time for once. I waited all night for that night to end. I really didnt want to be there last night. It was the last night my baby would be home. Its not like anything different was gonna happen with me there, but that really doesnt matter. its was my sons last night at home and i had to sleep through part of it, then go to work.

Then, this morning I got off and came home. John was allowed to have the day off, so he was up andhad breakfast on the stove when i opened the door. The coffee was hot, I was tired and the food was a welcome aroma. I was so freaking hungry. alex was still sleeping and the house was quiet. it seemed like you could hear a pin drop except the tv was on and john was talking  and the food on the stove was steaming, but to me, the house was still quiet.

I had breakfast, then took my shower and washed off all the smells from work. In the mean time, alex got up, had breakfast, showed his dad what to do to make his next two payments on his car. gave explicit instructions ans wrote two checks to put in the mail when the time came. His insurance is already set up to be paid.

This is a little tmi, but to me it now seemed like it was in slow motion. Then, it got closer to leaving time. alex had to be at the recruiters office by noon. he had his bag packed and his BF was here. another friend showed up to say his good by's. he ended up following us to the recruitrers office. again we semed to jump between fast and slow motion. when we got  to the office, alex had to come back home and get a pair of long pants, he only btought shorts. I mean, he's going to texas, who wears pants in the summer in texas? The Air force does.

We stood around in front of the office until Alex finally told us he had stuff he had to do. This is when time went really really fast. alex gave the hiugs to his friends, and his dad then i grabbed him and held on as tight and as long as i could I cried, just cus i was gonna miss my baby. he was ready, or so it seemed to me, for what he ws about to experience. how can a seven year old boy be ready for the Air Force. I know, he is actually 22, but in my mind, he is still seven. I cried all the way home, and right now. Tomorrow i will write him a letter and put it in an envelope. then I will wait for his address and mail it. I want to make sure he gets a letter and the first one is mine.

If you have made it this far, your pretty good. this was very theraputic for me. my baby has taken his last baby step in front of me and he is a full grown man. he has been for a long time, but to me, he is still my baby.

Im done now.