Entry for February 16, 2006

Today is my last night at home again. Tomarrow night I go back to work, one more time. My doctor took me off for two weeks when my mom passed away. I hope i am ready to go back. If I start crying on the line, I hope no one sees me. I miss my mom so much. It has been two weeks now, and I keep thinking I should call her. She would get upset if I didnt call her at least once a week. She would call me and make sure I was ok. A lot of times, I didnt even realise it had been more thant a week since I called her. When I would go and visit, she always said it was so nice I came to see her. My mom loved to see her children. If I stayed too long, she would tell me to spend the night, cause she didnt want me to have to drive home in the dark. I am 47 years old, but moms never really let their kids grow up all the way, at least mine didnt. I cant do it with mine either. They will always be my babies, no matter how old they get.  That is the way mom did us. No matter if we were fighting, and she knew one of us was wrong, she never took sides in front of us. I think seperatley, she may have said something, I dont know.

Mom and my sister lived together in a house they bought. My sister decided she wanted to move, the house was too big for her alone. She found another place and now the house is going on the market next week.  That seems to make it finale. There wont be a "moms house" any more.  I have pictures of my family all over my house. I dont want some picture from someone I dont know. I can walk all over my house and see my family. My mom is in a lot of these pictures. I remember people saying why do you take so many pictures??? Well folks, this is why. So I can see my family any time I want. I value my family more than anything.  The pic above is my brother and one of my sisters and my mom on her 86th birthday. Most of her kids and grandkids were able to be there. I was able to take pictures and my mom saw them and it made her happy to be with her kids. I wish everyone could have known my mom. She was a blessing to everyone that met her. I guess I could go into that right now, but that is another novel. I just know Iwill get to see her again one day.  I love you mom.